I need to change my life around, desperate help?

So, iv drove my loved ones away from me, my girlfriend, my best friends, everyone. Im taking to my ex girlfriend, shes saying she would definantly get back with me if i changed my anger issues, im desperate to get her back, and my best friends back. But how can i change, and not lose my temper so easily? please help.I need to change my life around, desperate help?
have you considered some kind of anger management course? or counselling, this could help you so much in understanding what lies behind in what your anger is really about as im sure you don't really mean to be angry to those that you love... quite often its our nearest and dearest that get the raw deal when we feel anger,sadness and pain and quite often because we feel we can kind of get away with it as their are family and friends..does this make any sense ,i mean maybe its not you? but generally their are underlying reasons why people get angry and seeing a counsellor could really be valuable,i saw one for 3 years i learnt so much, if you do and find you don't get along go find another as its really important to see someone you feel at ease with! wish you the best!I need to change my life around, desperate help?
The trick is to find out what triggers your anger. Anger is usually a secondary emotion that is covering up hurt or sadness. You dont want to deal with the fact someone is hurting you or making you sad, so you react with the anger emotion.



Anger mangement classes will help. Or researching it online. There are a few techniques you could use to learn how to pinpoint what sets you off or lights your fuse. Being aware of what makes you tick, and stopping it is the key. It is up to you and only you, to train your brain to react in a way that will bring your loved ones closer to you.
Read The Journey by Brandon Bays; get to the source of your anger so you can safely look at it, release it, forgive and heal yourself.



There's plenty of other things you can do as well, but be aware that most of them - such as anger management.- are only treating the symptoms, not the cause.
You might need to check into about being on some medication
A selection of treatments follow: If you can't deal with it by using one of the techniques, such as counting backwards from 20, to 1, (and prevent yourself from making yourself angry, in the first place) is important to express that anger appropriately, at the time, and to the person who caused it, if possible, or immediately afterwards. If not, maybe by walking away later, and bellowing your rage and/or frustration. In some situations, such as work, or school, it might be better to cover your mouth with a cupped hand, bandanna/handkerchief, or use the crook of your elbow, to muffle the sound. Some people find that it helps to journal those thoughts, and emotions soon afterwards.



Anger, which is repressed, rather than healthily expressed, tends to fester, and later may cause explosive fits of rage, or depression. Let yourself feel the burning energy of that anger, and visualise it, as vividly as possible, as a hot flame cleansing you. It can help to have someone you can talk to. For more physically inclined people, a punching bag, or hitting your pillow, can be an effective release mechanism: visualise, as vividly as you can, that you are striking back at the cause of that anger. ';But next time, when you get mad, just remember this quote: 'Those who anger you, conquer you.' It's basically saying that when you give someone the power to make you mad, or let it get to you, it's like they're controlling you.



When I realized that, it made me mad, so I try to control my anger and not let people see it. You can still control your anger without being walked all over. You just have to draw a line.'; Try saying to yourself, in your mind: ';I am fire! I am ice!';. Repeat for as long as it takes for you to calm down sufficiently. Anger management is addressed in much more detail than can be included here, in section 4, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris and practice daily, one of the relaxation methods in section 2, 2.c, 11, or 2.i



A variant of Eye Movement Desensitisation %26amp; Reprocessing therapy, which has been used successfully for those people suffering from anxiety: it is easily learned, quick to use, yet can be very effective, is on page N, of section 6, and I use it before the relaxation techniques, because I have found that it makes them quicker to employ, and more effective. These will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly. Yoga, and/or T'ai Chi may also help you become a calmer, more self controlled person, who is less influenced by the behaviour of others.