Wednesday, September 21, 2011

How to do a 180 degree life change? I may be a douche bag...?

I am 25 years old and just recently I am starting to really see the path my life has taken. I always thought I was a decent dude, but I am starting to see that I may be a big ******...



I had a 4 year relationship, where I thought my ex did everything she could to make me miserable, but the truth is, I made my self miserable. I didnt try in the relationship, I was controlling, jealous, I didnt ever go out with her friends or even try to get to know them. And when she did mess up just one time, i never let her forget it....



With my friends im cheap ***, and wont spend a penny when we go out but will drink my *** off on their dollar and make a fool of my self. In some ways im becoming ';that dude'; you know the one you hesitate to bring to the party and find that really nobody EVER asks to go out on the weekends.



In college and even now I am lazy, I dont try or care about anything, but I do go to great lengths to make it seem like I care. As to justify a reason to always look like im busy or occupied.

I try to hold a proud image of myself, but within 2 weeks everybody in my job is starting to see the Swiss cheese personality and character flaws left and right.



Even my thoughts are not healthy, and It seems like people can even see the stuff going on in my head and I get the impression people (women) are uncomfortable around me.



The only real progress I have made over the last couple years is that I have gotten better at hiding or faking it. It may be better in some ways that im not AS obvious but it sucks to know that you are just conning your own life.



I read self help, I have listened to audio tapes, I thought about being a better person and have even tried. but the things that scares me the most is that this is who I am, and some things you just cant change. When I reflect back several year I see the same person looking the mirror.



Do you have any suggestions to pulling off a 180 or even 90 degree life change?How to do a 180 degree life change? I may be a douche bag...?
We did not change as we grew older; we just became more clearly ourselves.



Its a good thing that you are analyzing yourself and admitting that you are a ***** bag.You are halfway there.





Practice changing the way you approach people. Hang around with positive people. Get a good hobby.



Your life is what you make it. think about that.How to do a 180 degree life change? I may be a douche bag...?
Friend you need professional help ...answers here may be of limited value ....
I would suggest looking into your past and maybe identifiying what may have caused this. Your best bet would be to go and talk to someone about it. I was with a guy that sounds like you, he was diagnosed with Bipolar. His mum and dad divorced and he felt because his father made his mother move out, she abandoned him. This wasnt the case, his father would slag her out and he grew up thinking it was all her. He was always angry, and he learnt this from his father.

It was a form of trauma to him because he was so young, which led him to always think of himself and not trust anyone. The effect actually made him to be one of the most untrustworthy people you could meet.



Go and talk to a professional. It could help alot. Good Luck

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