Wednesday, September 21, 2011

How can I change not to be gay? ?

Please help. Iam 16 almost 17. I told my parents I was gay and they where upset. They ignored and just kept on asking so when am i getting a girlfriend.. I mean not being conceited I can get one Im good looking.I dont talk,act or look like im gay. So i got one because thats what made them happy n it. Made them so happy.. Been with her for a month now but im so confused! i dont feel anything towards her! Im just so frusturated now! i dont kno what to do.





Please i need some advice. Ive tryied everything..is not working can i change? Life is so confusing.How can I change not to be gay? ?
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with your family. It's not your fault. Parents, though they should be more flexible, often have a hard time dealing with their children not fulfilling their sometimes unfair and unnecessary expectations. They have no right to expect or force you to into a sexual orientation that's unnatural for you. You're gay. It's part of who you are and it's not going to change. You'll have to come to terms with that, and, eventually, so will they. In the meantime, let down this girl as gently as you can. If she's a good friend, someone you can confide in, tell her about yourself (though I'd be careful about who you talk to if you live in a small and/or closedminded community). Then talk to someone who can actually help you because, until your parents come around, they won't be able to. Remember how you threw tantrums when you were a little kid and didn't get your way? Well, that's what your parents are doing now. They're going to whine and complain and deny and hold their breath, and you're just going to have to let them be immature about it for a while. Until they learn to cope, there are others you can talk with to ease your frustration and confusion. Therapy isn't a bad idea (as long as it's not with a homophobic doc), and if you have any gay family, they might also be a good source. Try looking for an LGBT support group near you. My advice is to check out PFLAG (Parents, Families, %26amp; Friends of Lesbians and Gays), they can help you, and they can help you deal with your family. Go to pflag.org and see what they're about. If you like what you see, then there's information there on how to find a local chapter and tons more. It's a very helpful and informative place.How can I change not to be gay? ?
I am sorry but you can't change.. you are gay.. and you have to learn about that.. your parents.. wont accept you.. now but maybe with the time.. be patient..
You can't change sexual orientation
you are who you are..dont change for anyone!
you cant change how you are. its not a choice, it just happens that way. sorry and good luck to you
You might not be gay at all. you're probably just confused. Maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet. But if you truly are gay, you'll know it. And you can't really do anything about it. That's just the way you are.
UMM I DONT THINK U CAN CHANGE THAT.... THATS JUST HOW YOU ARE, YOUR NEVER GONNA BE HAPPY WITH A GIRL. ITS SAD YOUR PARENTS WONT ACCEPT YOU FOR WHO U ARE.. I SAY BE YOURSELF WHO CARES WHAT OTHER S THINK.
Aww don't change for ANYONE


if you want to be gay..then BE GAY


If you force yourself to like woman you will eventually HATE IT





Just see were life takes you and IGNORE YOUR PARENTS.


there dumb:D
you shouldnt change just for your parents.


they should accept you for who you are, and if they dont they're not very supportive parents. dont change your life just to please them.


follow your heart babe(:
I don't believe gay people can switch to straight. I mean, there are camps and such that try to tell people what to do to become straight, but it basically just removes any instances where a guy could check out another guy, pursue him, etc. Like, one guy got married and had children, but he said he still felt gay. He just acted straight, but didn't really feel it.





I think you should be true to yourself. Don't string the poor girl along just because it makes your parents happy. End it now before it gets out of hand.
The others are right. You were born that way. But you don't have to act on if if you don't want to.
Just start dating a dude, your parents will come around.
You shouldnt have to change who you are and honestly its hard if not impossible to do...Just embrace yourself. Hopefully your parents will come around and love you no matter who you love but a lot of times this isnt the case and they end up missing out on a huge part of your life. But that doesnt mean you should repress yourself to suit what other people want. This is your life...dont miss out on you!
awh,


i'm sorry honey,


there's nothing you can do to change your sexual orentation, but the more you accept it and are happy with it the more your parents will except it.


LOVE YOU FOR YOU!
You can't change. Your parents need to deal with you, and you need to break it off with your girlfriend before anything gets too serious.


Good luck. :]
Don't try and be something or someone you're not. It might seem like the solution at the time, but you can't do it forever, and it hurts like hell the whole time you're doing it. Believe me, I know.





It may be very hard, but you have to make it clear to your parents that you can't lie this way, neither for them nor yourself. You can't be straight if you're gay, any more than you can be gay if you're straight.









oh it's not your fault, your learning about yourself and how you feel. The reason you don't have feelings towards ur Girlfriend is to make ur parents happy, and u admitted u wer gay. Are you more into guys or is it both, cuz it could just be bi? Message me to tell me how u feel and i will try en' help.
Your parents are going to have to realize that THEY are the problem - not you. There is nothing wrong with be gay, and they should support and accept you unconditionally. Trying to force yourself to be someone you're not in an attempt to please them is only going to make you miserable - and hurt whoever you date to try and ';straighten yourself out';. If you really feel like they won't change, and continue to feel pressured into ';acting straight';, I highly suggest family therapy - all this pretending is, in the end, only hurting you AND your family.
you can change ... it's not easy tho... you have to think of why men appeal to you... and figure how a woman might be better for those reasons...


good luck... god bless
Even though there are questions as to how homosexuality arises (the nature vs. nurture conversation), it is generally accepted as being irrelevant by the time it matters. If you are gay, there's no way to change, and there's nothing wrong with that. It might mean that you will have a less conventional lifestyle, but that doesn't mean you can't live to be happy and successful.
i feel you man i went through the same thing.


my parents act as though i told them nothing and keep bugging me about getting a girl. At first, I was frustrated with their response, then i thought about doing what they asked me to do. I tried it and only came to realize how unattractive a womans body is to me. So i changed my mind and decided to live my life as i am. It will save you a **** load of problems. I understand how you must feel. If you love your parents, defying them will be the hardest thing you've done in your life. But think about it. You get married to a woman, have kids and make the world around you think you're straight. During all those years, you'll carry that burden of knowing the truth behind the fog of lies you've created. If you decide to come out with the truth then, you might hurt your wife and kids. Wouldn't that be awful? In the end, the choice is yours.
NOT SURE WHETHER YOU CAN CHANGE OR NOT, DON'T THINK SO. WHAT I AM SURE OF IS YOU HAVE TO BE TRUE TO YOURSELF, IF IT MEANS LIVING SOMEWHERE ELSE WHERE YOU ARE ACCEPTED FOR YOURSELF.


TRYING TO BE SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT, CAN CAUSE HORRIBLE PSYCHOLOGICAL REPERCUSSIONS. YOU WILL NEVER BE HAPPY IF YOU KEEP TRYING TO BE WHAT YOU ARE NOT.


PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR LIFE TRYING TO PLEASE OTHERS. THAT WILL NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY. LIVE IN A WAY THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. THAT IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT...SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS, BUT THEY'LL GET OVER IT. OR THEY WON'T. NOT YOUR CONCERN. IT IS THEIRS. THEY CAN CHOOSE TO DEAL W/IT, ACCEPT IT....OR LOSE YOU IN THEIR FIGHT AGAINST WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.





DON'T YOU THINK THAT GIRL KNOWS YOU FEEL NOTHING FOR HER? SHE KNOWS.
I know that it is hard on you:/ I am very sorry your parents can't accept you the way you are, you may not be able to change that though. I honestly don't know how you feel, so I am not gonna say that I do, but I don't think that you should change for anyone. How do you know that you are though? Hm maybe I won't understand..and I am sorry..but if you have tried everything, just talk to your parents and tell them that you can't help the way you feel towards other guys, you wish you could, but you can't. They will come around eventually:]


If you need any other help or someone to talk to you can email me.


Danielle_02_nichole@yahoo.com





Good luck:]
I know this sounds cliche, but don't change yourself to make other people happy. Living a lie never works out. It isn't fair to you and it isn't fair to your girlfriend. Instead of pressuring you to date, you need to be encouraged to take time to find yourself and what you believe in.
youre gay. just break up with her and tell your parents it isnt working out. dont let your parents push you around like that! you are your own person and you are who you are and your parents should love you either way!
If you are gay you came out to your family too soon. You are still in puberty and that is a tough time for most males believe it or not. You may desire to be with females later in life, but not now, especially when you acquired a gf to apease your folks, that may be why you havent clicked with her; she was 'pushed' on you. If you hadn't been nagged to find a gf you really wanted to be with it might be different.You can change your direction of being with someone you really don't desire to please others, but you can't change what you really are deep down. I am much older and apeased my family and was unhappy. Two failed marriages (a son was the only good part of my being with women, and he's straight and supports me) and many gf's I liked, but didn't want to be with as a companion. I did finally find a male who loved me as I loved him and then I came out to my family as an adult and told them not to interject, think about what I said, and I would love them the same regardless and prayed they'd do the same or at least come around and accept my gayness and my companion. They, I'm sure were disappoint, knew all along, and were a tad disappointed, but relieved. Only wanted me to be finally happy. And I am. The following may assit in the future if you decide to be happy, lets face it, you wont always live at home.
If you're gay, you're gay. Don't be in a relationship with some one because you want to make your parents happy! This is your life. If you continue living your life for someone else, what are you supposed to gain? They will gain everything. Listen, being in a relationship has caused me turmoil in my family, but my partner helped me realize what true happiness for me is. Please, live your life for yourself. You'd be doing yourself a big favor - its a step to self-realisation, and understanding life. Of course there will be hardships, and of course you'll get hurt, but that's all part of life. What matters is that you take the chance to move on as a person, not a robot.
it's the most natural thing....you really can't.


it's not something you can turn on or off.
When you feel an attraction to a guy try not to suppress it because than it may turn into depression, but what you could do is imagine the positive and sexy things about a guy and make your self feel repulsed or that the same sex of you is wrong to be with... I am not a homophobic so I do not think that gay is wrong, because I used to like girls a lot and thought that I was a lesbian... but no one knew because I was very silent about it. But than while i went to my psychologist about anger management I had told him about my struggles of being gay and that I did not want to be gay in society, so than he introduced me to that exercise of ';turning lust into disgust';. And it actually worked. because I do now have an attraction to guys. I can truly say that gay is not a choice because I did not choose to be gay nor did you.





Good luck, Jennifer
If you are attracted to guys then most likely you're gay but you could also be bi. Being that you're with a girl and are not attracted to her does not automatically mean you're gay, you're just not attracted to her. You might not want to admit it to yourself at first but after a while you will.


Your parents might not want to accept you now but they'll have to get over it; after all, you are their son and they should accept you for who you are.
Trust me.


We've all been there.


Or most people i talk to have.


I know i did.


I got a boyfriend.


%26amp;%26amp; It lasted about 5 minutes because.


There was no attraction towards him.


The truth is.


The is Nothing wrong with being gay.


You should be proud.


So the sooner you accept who you are.


The easier this will be for you.


Because you cannot change.


%26amp;%26amp; You shouldn't want to.


Plus you need to end your relationship with this girl.


Before she gets hurt too.





Good Luck.


C.

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