Want to change life, where to start?

so for the past year and a half my life has started to take a turn for the worst. ive always been diagnosed with panic and anxiety/depression disorders. but it has started to control my life, it hasn't happened all at once, but slowly this year its gotten worse and worse as to where i don't leave the house much, i can only go about 2 blocks and i start to have major panic attacks and have to return home, ive gained alot of weight because ive become inactive. all i do is sit around or sit at friends houses. im starting my senior year in high school soon and i really need a job, but this panic keeps me from getting a job. im 18 and feel like im never going to make it in the real world. i always feel lazy, i try to find fun things to do but its hard when i cannot leave and go for a walk or go downtown. im only comfortable if i have a ride with some one. this has made my relationship with my girlfriend stressful, as we do not do a whole lot. and we fight alot, we may go to the movies once but other then that its to stressful for me to leave or go places. I use to be able to walk alone anywhere i pleased as long as i want. when i was about 14 i started getting panic attacks, but i had them under control, now i cannot control them. i feel like im not interested in anything. i just sit around the house doing absolutely nothing. i use to see a counselor, i stopped going to one because this year i felt like nothing was working. i made an appointment in a week to see my old counselor. i just don't know what to do and how to change all of this mess. i have 5 siblings and out of those 5 my oldest brother was the only sibling i spent a significant amount of time with. he was more a father to me then my own dad. (ive had issues with my dad not being around when i was 10 years old and started first going to counseling because of issues with my dad doing drugs, and just not being around) but anyway i lost my older brother to crime, hes spending 12 years in prison. it was really hard for me being 14 to lose my only real father figure. up untill now i never linked that to the isolation feeling which may have caused the start of my agoraphobia like state. i havent left the house on my own in almost 2 years now. I just want to be independent and be able to be on my own.. im 18 and i feel like a child, i feel like i cant be on my own or i panic...Want to change life, where to start?
you are not alone.... i was gong through the same thing and have not yet fully recovered. you need to start taking liquid fish oil... it is disgusting but works... it is food for your brain and it helped me a lot... the taste and texture is disgusting but i was that depressed and anxiety stricken that by that point i was willing to try just about anything. second of all.... excersise.... i know you don't actually have the motivation to do it but its something that you have to force yourself to do, the mind is a very powerfull tool, whatever you set your mind to the body will follow. even if it is just walking... start by walking just 5 minutes a day then each day add a minute by the end of the week you'll be walking 11 mintues then the next week 18 and because it is gradual you barely even notice the difference!Want to change life, where to start?
First of all, the guy at the top of your answers needs to learn how too read whole sentences.



I have the feeling of always being watched and think it is cuz i have a paralyzed left arm. I have learned to tell myself to tell the world to F off. It was hard to do but really, you life is all about you, you got one shot. I will never let the dumb Fs like the guy that said '; your questions too long and im a dumb ***'; tell me how to live or when to go where I wana go.
First off, Write shorter questions...
Jacob you need to discuss this with your doctor as he can refer you to some one who can help. I know because I have been through similiar to you and got the help I needed. I am now able to leave the house on my own. I am also on RISPERDAL CONSTA which has helped me enormously. No need to feel embarassed about speaking to your doctor he/she will know what to do.