This prison is made of justifications and self-hate: I hate my wierd name, height, color, race, born in a different country, came to America when Im 14, have never made long term friends, I hate all these things in myself and the circumstances that these things resulted from. I constantly justify to stay breathing and alive: because of a combination of these things I can't experience happiness is my favorite justification and gives me some comfort when I see everyone else around me living life to the fullest.
But how can someone change the mind, the attitude, which I have been living with and constanly defending for about 5 years now. It seems impossible to change it. The only real comfort I have is my family and now even they are gone since I decided to move away to college thinking it might do me good. Change?How can I change my life into the best that it can be?
Don't sit around feeling sorry for yourself like a little girl. If you're not feminine, consider joining the military. People ridicule it all the time but ignore them.
The military will straighten you out and make it so that you won't want to feel depressed all day.
Believe me, if you join you will live life to the fullest. And you will feel proud of yourself for having served.
Veterans will know what I'm talking about. People that haven't joined will have no clue but lots of opinions.
Good luck
p.s. yes even foreign born can join the us militaryHow can I change my life into the best that it can be?
Read this webpage a few times and you will feel much better about yourself. If you don't like yourself, how will you be happy?
http://phifoundation.org/happiness.html
Learn what is important and what is not like race, color, name or height.
wow- i cannot relate to all of your situation but for a very long few years i was not happy with myself at all. first let me say that it will take lots of time. you have to want to change. you have to go through your day and look at everything and see if you can change what doesn't make you happy. as for the friends i suggest you don't try to make any until after you have found yourself. otherwise you will just meet people and as you change they wont meet your (requirements) that's another thing, i had to figure out exactly who i was, and then decide what i could change and what i couldn't, i changed a few things and learned to accept who i am regardless of what others think. once i did that slowly my outlook on life became better. i am now living a happy life with a few friends and a wonderful girlfriend. hope i helped.
I'm a 27 yr old girl..been through much of the same self loathing you describe. i have worked with myself, honestly not overnight change and not easy but it has helped me AMPLES!!
1. You need to write down everything you hate about yourself, your race is not you, you didnt choose it, write down what you have choosen.
2. Write all your qualities, from waking up early to saving the world...
3. Try to think of how many there are of ';exactly you'; in this world?
4. Are there people YOU can help?
5. Why dont you deserve to be happy?
6. Make real achieveable goals....and soar for them.
7. A writer that helped me a lot, Paulo Coehlo..try the alkymist, veronica wants to die, zahir, light warriors...and really....
make up your mind to fight for what you deserve...its not going to be easy...but hey...dont you deserve it more when you strive for it?
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