How do you overcome the feeling your life is over?

I am 52 and have had a successful life. I have a devoted wife and two brilliant sons. In 2004, I lost my job of 17 years. I have money so it was not a financial disaster...but rather an emotional one. It took a year before finding another job making a fraction of what I did before. Gradually I have begun to feel like my life is over. I done care much for anything anymore. I am not angry. I am not depressed (I'm seeing a shrink). Nothing much matters.


I have gained a large amount of weight since 2004 but have no desire to change it. I am very involved in church and enjoy going but It seems that I am on the train of life and it is coming in for the last stop. When the doors open I will get off unless something in my life changes. Any suggestions?How do you overcome the feeling your life is over?
In life you call work a setback, i believe you probably feel that the best years are over, and what you are going to be, you have already been. I think it sounds like you are just ready to hang out. The problem was you just stressed out after you lost your job. Did you take a vacation? Maybe you now understand that working at a company isnt right for you. Ever thought of doing something different? Open a business? I dont know.





Look at it like this, you have one life, and right now this part may suck but only because you want it like that. You have to want to change. I recommend you stop wasting your money on a shrink, and just apply some reasoning. Look do you want to go down that road and be the dad who burnt out, or do you want to continue to climb the ladder of success? So you lost your job, what was that company doing? Could you do that on your own and do it cheaper then they can? Thats called business, start one, you only have one life and maybe that will make you happy.





If thats not it then do what you have always wanted to do, and take time to find yourself, dont go to church just concentrate on what you want. Your 50 years old, but they say people live to 80 now. Imagine all the stuff you did till you were 30? Lots of experiences, and now you have about that much time left, so there is still time to build an empire, or go after what you really want in life. You have to want it. Its not like you get a second chance at life, so why waste it?





kentucky friend chicken was started by old col. sanders at the age of 62, he had a recipe and a dream, he was actually dinied over 1000 times before someone finally said they would buy it.





Look at Lance Armstrong, he has a 50% survival rate from testicular cancer, he beat it and went back to win the tour de france, a few times. Even after his sponsor dumped him.





You got to realize whats important in life for you and go that way.How do you overcome the feeling your life is over?
Go back to work, Do something that makes you feel fufilled.
You need to do something that makes you happy everyday. Whether it is a small thing like getting your hair done or a big thing like a trip to Europe. What have you always wanted to do?? Go do it! Quit that crappy job and get one that you like, don't settle for one you don't no matter the pay. Maybe start your own business like a travel agency or something. Go on a grand trip somewhere exotic, take a friend or look into a tour group of others in your situation. There are probably tons of people in your spot wishing to make friends. You could find a real friend in one of these groups. There are groups for singles or groups for only women or groups for simply lone travel partners. they aren't all necessarily hook-up groups, sometimes they truly are just single (as in individual) travelers. You have alot of years left in you no need to give up now!
This may sound trite, but one way to deal with those feelings is to just accept them, say ';So. That was my life. Some good, some bad, nothing special, but that makes me no different than thousands and thousands of others whose lives lived themselves out. Oh well.';. Then realize that's really not so bad. Plus, once you've accepted that, and your life isn't over yet, you have the freedom to do anything you want! There are many things you always wanted to do but couldn't for one reason or another; some of them are things you can't do at 52, but some of them you could do if you were 72!





Live your life like the samurai, as if it were already over, and you can put all your heart into whatever you do, because you have nothing to lose. And you should probably drop the church. Church just makes people feel bad...
See your therapist and if they so happen to suggest medication than take it. Sometimes you brain just doesn't function as it should and you'll have no motavation. It could be caused by so many disorders, ADD, Bipolar disorder, and even a medical one, hypothyroidism. If you lack motivation then something is wrong with your reward system. Do something that is rewarding mentally, just force yourself to start exercising, it is so wonderful of a solution to many problems.
I'm in the same place you are, but single never married, a few years younger, and I am a financial disaster, so I can't give you any advice from personal experience, LOL.





Advice columnists of the past (you know, the twins), would say ';start something new.'; They'd give a list of activities and hobbies to give a shot, and tell you to be enthusiastic. At the top of their list would be:


Volunteer to be a tutor. Help a junior high student with math. Help an elementary school student with reading. Get satisfaction at seeing your students progress to where they don't need you any more -- then start helping someone else.





Then they'd add:


Write me again and let me know how things turned out. I care.





==


Me? I have a vegetable garden. Can't step off the train if I need to water the darn things every day, now can I.
I can tell you from experience (I worked since I was 11 years old...very independent..every summer after school..for a lawyer and then for the government) that when I lost my job due to downsizing I was devestated..not only was I one of their best employees but I felt that none of it mattered to anyone because government was basically corrupt and the only ones who survived till the end when it all privatized were the *** kissers and crooks.





Anyhow, for years I lost my sense of identity. I had always been independent and now here I was with a family, no income and it was quite an emotional rollercoaster for me.





Here I sit 10 years later (at 46) and I work part time from home and make enough to help pay the bills...our house was long paid for (I owned my house before I met hubby) so really we just need to get by now.





I am able to volunteer and do the things I love. I don't get paid for it, but I get to pick and choose what I do with my life and with my time.





I'm sure that once you realize that what you did at your job did not and never will define who you are as a person, you will start to discover that the world is a very magnificent place and you have all the time at your disposal to make good use of it. People would die to be in your position. Invest your money wisely, find something you really love to do and who cares about the pay...it's not all about the pay...downsize if you need to and put your money away in RRSPs...check out the seniors clubs (hey I play with the seniors all the time they are amazing and have a lot of fun!) and travel, take day trips, re-discover yourself.





It doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. Many people have to deal with thier lives being ';over'; but really it's never over...look at it as evolving into another dimension...life was good for a while, but everything changes,and that doesnt mean it cant be good again, even better too. Find a hobby, play a lot...and along the way life will unfold and new opportunities will present themselves to you.





And dont forget that wonderful family you have...they are fairly grown I'm sure and will bring you much joy and happiness and you and your wife should really depend on one another and re-discover yourselves and go out for long walks...who cares what you do...tomorrow you could be dead so what does it all matter....just live and be happy. That is all we can do with our lives in this world...and make those around you happy...it will bring you more joy than you can imagine. The only validation you need is to know you are loved and you know you are.
I am sorry but at the age of 48 I feel the same way. Mainly for the same reason only I had been at my job for only 8 years. It really is hard to climb back in the saddle again. The world has changed so much that I am not so sure that I changed with it. Things were so much easier when I first started working. Now you almost have to have a college degree for anyone that pays a fairly good salary to even consider hiring you. If you have the time how about volunteering some where. I am sorry that I could not be of much help to you, but like I said I really am in the same boat. A boat that is sinking faster than I can bail the water out. I guess we both need to remember that even the longest journey starts with the first step so just keep trying.
Hi, I am 46 and lost my job in 2003. I am telling you this so that you will understand that I relate and don't just have an opinion I pulled out of the air.





I don't know where you got the idea that you are not depressed, as you have listed classic depression symptoms. You may not be what is called ';clinically depressed';, but you are most assuredly ';situationally depressed';.





Having said that, here is the really hard part. Only YOU can change your situation (thinking). There are many steps you can take. You say you enjoy Church, what is it that you enjoy? Try to replicate that outside of church. If it is the reading of scripture, then read scripture outside of church. Is it the music? Then listen to uplifting music outside of church. Are you following my meaning here...do the same things outside of church that you do inside that makes you feel better.





Depression is anger turned inwards, and you know what, after 3 years I am still angry about being let go. But it is getting better. Try writing a letter to the people involved in the decision, and even those you feel didn't stop it. Say whatever you need to say. (you can do this more than once) then get a shoebox, tape it up, put a slot in it and ';mail'; these letters to God.





Before going to bed at night, make a list of 10 things you are grateful for.





I know some of these things sound hokey, but they will work. Drastic times require drastic measures.





I have many more, PLEASE, feel free to email me, if you need more suggestions or just need to talk about how you are feeling. In the meantime, I will say a prayer for you.





Remember, feelings are just feelings, they are transitional so don't act out on the negative ones. We have a lot of power over our feelings, we can change them, by learning to think differently.





Best wishes
Your life isn't over. You just don't have anything right now that you feel extremely passionate about. If you go walking it will give your mind a little freedom to think about whatever comes to mind. It sounds like you were very passionate about the work you were doing before. If you had this passion for the entire 17 years it's understandable that now that the job is gone the passion is too. You are going thru a period of readjustment right now but one thing you need to realize is that some people live their whole life and never find something that they can feel passion for in that way. So feel blessed that you have had that experience. It might take a while but if you keep your eyes open you will find it again. Try to think back to when you were younger about things that you enjoyed doing then and see if you might get some satisfaction from doing those things now. It's about finding a new passion. It's not about finding another job making the same amount you were making before. Your new passion might make you more money than the old one did so don't think too much about that unless you are hurting financially.


On another note you say you feel like nothing really matters. That's just called a bad attitude. The fact is that everything matters and you probably have a lot of people counting on you. You just don't realize it. Things aren't always the way they seem. God Bless.
Been there done that. Your train seems to be heading to depressionville. You want to feel better and have a more positive outlook on things, read my post here:


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
You say you are not depressed--yet what you describe are classic signs of depression. You are mourning the loss of your past life. It makes you depressed. I'm glad you are seeing a shrink--He/She can help you move on. Good luck to you!
check that feeling against the evidence. Is your life in FACT over? Do you have work that you can do? Do your children still need you? Does your wife still need you? Does your church family still need you? If you aren't sure, ask each entity I listed above and take their answers verbatim. Don't interpret them.





If you can answer yes to these questions (or get yes replies from those you ask), then your life is in fact not over, but your mind is tricking you into thinking that it is. You then need to find out why your mind is tricking you in such a way. In the mean time, serve other people as much as possible.