How do you change 39 years of behavior and learn how to speak when that is not my past experience in life?

I have been very selfish and not been aware of my partners feelings for nearly 10 years and ours lives are at the point where we are so apposing in our growing up experiences, me having having no ongoing friendships and becoming more introspective since becoming the househusband. I don't contact the friends we do have and am on a downward slide with our relationship. How do I change when I don't have a life changing experience anywhere approaching that could possibly change my whole outlook on life from extreme apathy to revelation?How do you change 39 years of behavior and learn how to speak when that is not my past experience in life?
Give yourself credit. It sounds like you are on the right path. Don't buy into the misconception that you have to have a ';life changing experience'; to truly change your idiosyncrasies. Revelations or ';ah-ha'; moments require reflection and lots of time and work. You don't DO better until you KNOW better. It sounds like you are beginning to ';know better';, now you need to focus on ';doing better.'; Read self-help books, talk to a professional/preacher/friend, join support groups etc. for tips on how to change the behaviors that are limiting personal growth.How do you change 39 years of behavior and learn how to speak when that is not my past experience in life?
pray for help. then decide to change only for the better. we are not made to be everthesame. change! it's fun. and nessesery to find happyness