How do I change my life?

Hey guys, I've posted here before. I'm 23, and gay. Up to this point, I can't remember a day in my life where I've been happy. I currently struggle with a obesity problem, depression, lack of confidence, etc. I've never had a real job or any kind of social life.





I can never seem to find the motivation to change things, because something always brings me down. Everytime I look up, I see myself never being able to say no, whether it's involving food or someone asking for a favor. Like everyone else, I have dreams, but I always end up doubting them because I think too much about failing. I don't want to give up on me, so how do I go about changing my life? How do I turn things around? How do I find the happiness and success I deserve?How do I change my life?
I know what you are facing. I've faced the same kinds of issues in myself and my close friends.





If you look behind the scenes in your life and your daily decisions, you might begin to realize just how entrenched your negative feelings and attitudes are.





Look to the things that are important to you, and realize the scope of your attitude. Get to know the motivations you have deep down. When you gloss over them, its easy to forget that they are there. However, if you confront yourself with them on a consistent basis, you might just find how illogical some of your negative feelings are.





I also recommend that you trust in any good friends you have for assistance. An outside perspective from someone you can trust is a valuable tool in making changes in your life. Do not try to make the journey alone.





Challenge your thoughts and your decisions on a daily basis. Do not avoid the negative thoughts, feelings, memories, and secrets that seem to weigh down your soul. You will find that your negativity is held together by flimsy material.How do I change my life?
you know the problem and apparently the solution.


Work on it. Think positive and positive things will happen. Lose some weight and focus.
Well, what you can do is just think of good things in life. Don't assume that you are going to fail, just think of that fact that you are going to succeed in whatever you do.


If you have a good attitude towards your life, you gain the confidence and self esteem that you deserve, which in turn enables you to find the happiness and success!


Think about it: if you have an attitude in which you think you will fail, chances are, you will fail, because you won't try as hard as you normally would.


Take some steps to get out of your shell. Go out with friends, do some activities that you love! Pretty soon, you'll begin having your life back together again!


I know it sounds corny, but it might work. Trust me :)


Hope this helps :)
Ok.


(1) Think about your sexual orientation again....... are you actually, biologically gay, or are you being gay to rebel against a society that doesn't like anyone different?


(2) If you are still gay, you need to understand that it doesn't matter. I don't know much about gay people, but if you are uncomfortable with the way people treat you, you should learn not to give a crap, cos' it doesn't matter whether you are gay or not. You are a person, and you are gay, and as long as you are not uncomfortable with it, you should respect yourself for that.


(3) Your obesity problem... well, you seem to have realized that it is, indeed, a problem, which is a big plus. But it is cos' of your depression that you don't seem able to do anything about it.


(4) Look, dude.... you need to put yourself out there. It is hard at first. But you need to look for a job, stop this self-pitying thing, cos' it takes you no where, and start sociallising with people.


(5) You need to see a counselor. Seeing one doesn't mean you are crazy... it just means you talk to someone that understands, to work out some things in your life.


(6) About the failing thing........ dude.. we ALL fail in our lives. And normal people fail more than they actually succeed, because they try a lot. But this trying alot also means that they inevitably get success at some point. So don't count yourself as too unspecial... you're as ';special'; as the rest of us.





Dude, the last time I looked, life wasn't all easy or difficult... it's just life.... we are all born, go to school, compete with others for a job, and however much we want something, we still have to work our a*s off to get it.





So, to find happiness, you need to get it into your head, that it's not only you that fails... all of us fail more than we succeed. And cos' we all like to live, we try harder and harder, until we succeed.





So, just hang in there, relax, change your attitude, see a counselor, start eating healthy (cos' it's your life, dammit!), look for a job, and this way you will be happy enough to socialise with people.





Good luck. Jeez.
let me put it this way.... i live very similarly to you. i think you need to do is get someone to be romantically involved with and your spirit will rise to heights never before even fathomed of
You need to lift weights and workout regularly. Like 4 times a week with at least 20 mins of cardio each session. That will get rid of your depression and correct your weight problem and help with your self confidence. You may also want to see a therapist or a consoler that can help you work through unresolved issues in your life and get you on the right track to living a fulfilling productive life.
The only way to change your life is by being active.
I'm sorry you feel that way, if I were you I would pray. (I don't know what your religion is but pray to whatever god you worship.) Going to church or joining a club is a great way to meet people and socializing makes you feel better. Try finding a hobby you enjoy doing, whether it is sports or poetry or reading or writing or dancing or watching movies or playing an instrument as long as it makes you happy and is something constructive do it.


here are websites with more tips:


http://www.rd.com/content/20-simple-ways鈥?/a>


http://www.allthatwomenwant.com/cheerup.鈥?/a>





As for the obesity thing I would see a doctor and if at all possible consider weight loss surgery. Or try diet and exercise. Losing weight does make you feel better. Stepping on the scale each week and seeing the pounds fly off is a real confidence booster. And eating healthier improves your mood and health.








But the first step is positive thinking. Chase away all negative thoughts and replace them with happy thoughts such as ';I believe I can.'; ';I will try my best'; ';I will succeed'; it may seem corny but it does help.


Go to your local bookstore and purchase a book on positive thinking, I did and it changed my life. Seriously.





Maybe see a counselor if your depression worsens. I wouldn't recommend pills though because people can easily become addicted to those.





Good luck and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!








:)
Depression is a major obstacle when trying to get your life back on track. It will cause you to lose faith in yourself and feel like you can't succeed. If want this to change, my best advice would be to talk to your doctor about your depression. I know some people don't feel comfortable talking to doctors about their mental health issues, but it's really nothing to be embarrassed about. It's an illness that infects thousands of people every year, and it is treatable. Unfortunately clinical depression is really really hard to shake off without medication. And until you overcome it, you may find your efforts to improve your self-confidence continually hampered by self-doubt.





Another thing your doctor can help you with is a specific diet and exercise plan to help you with your obesity. You can do anything at all you set your mind to, and if you're really determined to lose weight and regain your health and self-esteem, your doctor can help you do that in the healthiest and most suitable way for you specifically. It won't happen overnight, and it may seem like the results take forever, but it will happen if you stick to it. Just keep your eye on the goal and focus on getting through one day at a time. Don't think about any failures that may come tomorrow, focus on not failing in the moment.





You're not alone. I'm 25, lesbian, and have suffered from depression for the better part of 16 years, nor do I have hardly any friends at all to go to for comfort when I'm feeling down. I'm not obese, but I am overweight, and I've never had a job either.





I have not taken my own advice and sought medical help for my depression, and well...I'm still suffering because of it. However for my weight problem, I recently decided to take up hiking. I was resistant to the idea at first 'cause I usually hate walking, but now I've found it's really a calming and peaceful way to get in a good workout, and I've already lost 3 pounds in the last couple weeks so, apparently it's working. You should try and find a physical activity that relaxs and refreshes you so that you don't absoluetly dread your workouts when they come around.





I know it can be hard to say no to your favorite food, but you could try eating only half of what you normaly would. Like if you love Big Macs, cut it in half and make it 2 meals instead of just one. That way you won't have to quit cold turkey, and it may ease any cravings while at the same time cutting your calories down from what's the norm for you. I know most medical professionals will tell you to cut out the junk food altogether, but I myself have found this impossible, so instead I just compromise with my tastebuds. Once you start losing weight, you may find your self-esteem rising with every pound you lose. But as I said, the best way to acheive both of these goals would be to talk to your doctor first and get his/her medical opinions and/or medication to aid you in your quest to becoming the happy person you deserve to be.
I have no miracle answer. I do have an idea though. Try reading a book called ';Who moved my cheese?'; It might help some. Bottom line no matter what is this:





Power comes from within, you need to take control of that power. Within you is the power to change, touch, and revitalize life. Not just others, but your own to. When and if you have the true desire to do so, you will. Then and only then will things change, the power and momentum of the change may surprise you.
I like the last sentence. You need to find your way out of this situation. Find a counselor as you will need support. Join a gym; see if you can find a personal trainer. You need to be healthy. Find a job. That will connect you to other people. It will give you a sense of purpose.
You have to decide for yourself that you are worth it. You deserve to be happy. Then put one foot in front of the other and make your life happen. Don't let yourself have the time to get tangled up in depression, low self esteem, whatever. Just go do what you need to do to have the life you want.





Just remember- you are worth it. You do deserve it. Your life can be whatever you want it to be.
Quitters never win and Winners never quit
Talking to a counselor might help. I suggest that first.





Then I suggest you pick one thing you want to work on in your life -- stay focused on that until you reach your goal.
First do not put youre self down always think positive ..my answer for ure problem will be to take it easy a great way to solve all of ure stuff is to take walks.....walking wiil help trust me but dont start whith a 5 mile run how about 20 or 30 min.O yea you gave me a great answer to my problem so i wanted to thank u im the mexican seems that u have 2 mexican friends now!!!!!BYE
One Word - McDonalds